There was a time when the eternal pine air freshener would do. Specifically, the instructions in my will were to bury me in a pine box. Was this for the benefit of the environment? Or for some symbolic purpose – to be buried in the simple manner of great humanitarians? Of course not! It was so that my bones would rest with the wonderful scent of freshly cut pine. Mmmmmm, mmmmm, good!
But change must come. Eventually, cedar found its way into my life. And, so, into my death as well.
My latest scent addiction – Terre D’Hermès. What is now instructed to scent my pine coffin.
I should have known I was headed for this particular trouble when I was in Target (tar · ZHAY) with the wife, and I managed to talk her into buying not one but TWO spray vials of cedar oil insect repellent for our closet. Fully aware that para-dichlorobenzene and naphthalene are both far more efficacious against moths than any cedar-based chemicals, I knew that I was deceiving myself about the need for any of this stuff.
Speaking of which, did you know that somebody patented vetiver as a termite repellent? Here’s the patent (US 6,890,960):
All I can say, is what a waste. Let the little buggers eat my pine coffin. They can never have the TRUE wood of my life – and now, after that as well.