Semi-Pseudo-Ex-Rednecks Prefer Armani Privé

Well, the height of the Oscars may have been watching those silly awards for all those chumps who care about breathless romance and exploding cars and all that STUFF, but for SOME of us, it’s all about the fashion!  (True, I did get a kick about the bunch of geeks getting to pose with uber-hottie Marisa Tomei, but that’s another post….)

So – was I impressed by the ever-gorgeous Anne Hathaway?  Only about half as much as that cute codger Kirk Douglas was, I suppose, but that would be QUITE A BIT.  And of course I was extremely happy to see Gucci by Gucci Pour Homme front man James Franco up there with her.  Another great scent – a bit on the weak side, though still very enjoyable.  Kinda like…. oh, never mind.


But my most FAVORITEST moment simply had to be Reese Witherspoon (who my wife simply cannot stand) getting interviewed on the red carpet, wearing a beautiful black dress from the Armani Privé collection!  Well, I do declare!  Why would that be?  Why would I be so happy for Ms. Witherspoon?  No, it would NOT be because my wife hates Reese Witherspoon’s down-home, southern, all-American innocence and sweetness, calling her “inaka” (basically Japanese for a bumpkin), and that I secretly root for my lovably ditzy but eye-rollingly urban wife’s bleach-blonde nemesis.  Why, never in a million years!  Nor would I take secret pleasure in a fashion victory for a fellow overeducated rube with overeducated parents, whose relationship to Declaration-of-Indpendence-signing ancestor John Witherspoon is about as tenuous as my relationship to my native ancestors, but whose innocent respect for which seems to represent all that is good and just in paleface America.  No, that’s not it either.  Hmmmmmm……

I know!  It’s because her beautiful black dress…..

Reese Witherspoon at the Oscars 2011

Reese Witherspoon Showing Off Her Armani Privé Dress At The Oscars

…reminded me of THIS!!!

Armani Privé Bois d'Encens

Armani Privé Bois d’Encens

Yes, Armani Privé Bois d’Encens!  In fact, if Reese Witherspoon wore anything else with that dress, then I would simply refuse to believe it.  Without doubt, Bois d’Encens would be stunning with that dress.  The spicy black pepper, incense and wood is just fabulous on ANYBODY, but what better to complement an Armani dress than Giorgio Armani’s personal scent?  Oh, no – take your Chanel no.19 which would match her emerald earrings, but in this case, would be just another accessory.  And forget Cashmere Mist, which would go great with her naturally vampire-white skin – which seems to be all the rage up the river these days, and the envious love of which seems to have all these perfectly beautiful Asian and Latino girls (cough, cough, not to suggest that I married one) doing crazy things like wearing gardening gloves when they drive around my home town, so as to keep their hands looking unhealthily pale to impress their friends when they fly back to Japan.  No, scratch that.

Nosirree.  You see, we – the few, the proud, the fragrance freaks – realize that a scent must be MORE than an accessory, or another piece of clothing to match the body.  It’s part of the whole ensemble, and the dress which undoubtedly passed through the mind of Armani – in fact or in spirit – should be accompanied by a scent which did likewise.  Together, she and Armani walk the red carpet – a complete story.

Of course, it might have just been because I love that particular frag, but…. whatever. 😉

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