Jasmin Imperatrice Liberté

I have always loved jasmine.  One of my favorite notes, I own several jasmine fragrances, and I wait patiently for several more, including one particular Creed.  Now, with all this talk of a “jasmine revolution” sweeping the world (possibly even in certain countries where others fail to see it), jasmine is becoming almost an obsession with me.  Why should what is possibly my favorite floral note suddenly be united with a social phenomenon which has captured the imagination of people throughout the world?  Are we actually witnessing a true “flower power”, grown from seeds planted long ago?

Who knows?  Maybe we should all just join the party…..

Jasmin Imperatrice Liberté

Don’t Be Afraid To Smell Like An Old Lady

“Good afternoon.  We’re here to see…”

“Ah!  The Waters brothers, I presume?”

“Yes.  We’re…”

“Madame Liberté will see you immediately.  The others await in the parlor.”


“Madame – I give you the Waters brothers – Joseph and …”

“That’ll be fine, boss.  Ma’am – you can just call me Snake.”

“Oh, my!  I once had an old boyfriend who went by that.  He didn’t talk much.  Not that he needed to.  He was most smashing in his leather jacket!  I remember….”

“Madame – I think we should get started…”

“Oh, yes.  Where was I?  Tea!  That’s it!  Would you care for some tea?  It’s my special jasmine tea.  It has the whole world clamoring for it right now!”

“Why, absolutely!  I simply LOVE jasmine tea!”

“Wonderful!  Monsieur Snake?”

“Hell yeah!  You don’t mind if I spike ‘er a bit with Jack Black, do ya?”

“Why of course not!  Tea should always be a celebration!”

“Ma’am – it’s a good thing we didn’t meet up back in the day.  It woulda been one bitchin’ party.”

“Please.  Take a seat next to the colonel.”

“Snake Waters.  Pleased to make your acquaintance.  And don’t tell me you’re Colonel Sanders, ’cause that beard ain’t foolin’ nobody.”

“Muammar Muhammad al-Gaddafi.  It is a pleasure.”

“Wait a minute, Chester!  I know you from somewhere….”

“Really, Snake.  Forgive my brother, Colonel Gaddafi.  It’s a pleasure, likewise.”

“Monsieur Joseph Waters – I am pleased that we meet.  I will have you know that I own every one of the scarves which you created for the Africa Collection.”

“Why, I’m terribly flattered.”

“Of course, I own the entire collection, but still!”

“Yes – but still.”

“Tea is served.  Gentlemen?  Do you care for a croissant?”

“Don’t mind if I do.  Jiminy Cricket!  Will you get a load of that!   Joey – take a whiff o’ these suckers.”

“Jeau de peau, no?  Good grief – I can’t believe I said that.  Snake – you’re a bad influence on so many levels, I don’t know where to begin.”

“Just doin’ my job.  Alright!  Here comes the juice!”

“Monsieur Waters.  Jasmine tea?”

“Make mine a double, boss-man.”

“And for Monsieur Joseph Waters?”

“S’il vous plaît.”

“Colonel Gaddafi?”

“Merci – but I am afraid that I must decline.  Jasmine is not good for my digestion.”

“President Obama?”

“Half a cup will be fine, thank you.  I’m really becoming a fan of jasmine, but I’m still not quite sure about tea.”

“As you wish.  President Hu?  Jasmine tea?”

“No.  Yes.  Maybe.  But not now.  Perhaps later.”

“Certainly.  Comrade Kim?”

“You insult me.  Take it away.”

“As you wish.  President Chávez?”

“No tea, and no jasmine.  Please.  I am fasting with my friends.”

“President Sarkozy?”

“S’il vous plaît.”

“President al-Assad?”

“I must add my special anti-jasmine powder first.  There – now pour.”

“And madame.”

“Merci, my good brother.”

“Gentlemen.  Madame wishes to make a toast.”

“Thank you, Brother Fraternité.  If I may….”

“Dearest gentleman and comrades.  It has come to my attention that the good people of the world wish to taste my jasmine tea – a tea most fragrant, which I have prepared especially for them.  Thus, I bid you all to come into my humble home and enjoy it with me.  Surely, I hope that my special tea will be of benefit to all.  My brother Égalité, who dabbles in the sciences, assures me that this soothing tea will bring comfort to the masses.  He is of the belief that my jasmine tea will lead to the greater equality of us all, and that by this means, greatness will come to all men, where it sees fit.  He assures me that the People itself is something vastly greater than the sum of its parts, and thus that we must awaken it, as was our destiny from the beginning of time itself.  My special jasmine tea, most soothing yet stimulating, will help to serve this purpose.  Thus, I present it to you, and bid you all to taste its beauty.  Thank you most kindly.”

“Psst.  Am I supposed to clap, too?”

“Really, Snake.  If there were one rule that would get you by, it’s to do as the Romans do.”

“Yeah, but these guys aren’t even drinking.  What gives?”

“It’s called diplomacy.  You should try it.”

“No way, José!  Hey, Garçon!  Can I get a refill?”

“Most certainly.”

“I see that you enjoy my tea!”

“You betcha.  Tea is good for improving common sense, and jasmine puts you in tune with the universal consciousness.  Least that’s what the hippie chick who runs the natural grocery says.”

“I agree completely!  President Obama – you seem to enjoy the scent of the tea.  I assure you that it is excellent to drink as well!”

“Yes – the aroma of jasmine is wonderful.  Tea….. well, I’m learning to appreciate it, but it keeps me awake at night, honestly.  Perhaps just a sip.”

“President al-Assad?  Are you not well?  You look troubled.”

“Something is wrong.  My anti-jasmine powder is not working.”

“Perhaps the powder is the problem.  If you would like a fresh cup….”

“Keep it away!  AWAY!”

“As you wish.  President Hu?  That’s funny.  He was here a moment ago…”

“Sorry, ma’am.  I think the cat just up and left.  Every time anybody said ‘jasmine’, he started lookin’ like that guy in the Preparation H commercial.”

“I’m terribly sorry – maybe he’ll stop back in later.”

“You know, I really have to go, too.”

“I’m so sorry.  Well, I do thank you for stopping by, President Obama!”

“It was lovely, as was the company.  I think I’m getting used to the idea of tea.  President Sarkozy – a pleasure.  We’ll talk.  Au revoir!”

“Au revoir!”

“Au revoir, Monsieur President!  Come back any time!”

“Say, if people aren’t going for seconds, any chance I can get a third cup?”

“But of course!  Please!”

“Snake, really.”

“Well, if Colonel what’s-his-name….. Heck, where’d that old boy run off to?”

“You’re right.  He’s gone.  What about Comrade Kim?  Haven’t seen him in a few.”

“That king of Korea guy?  Last I saw him, he was telling some gal in the kitchen that she ought to be in movies.”


“Darn.  Looks like just about everybody has hit the road.”

“Well, fancy that.  I bring you along, and all the A-listers skedaddle.”

“Look on the bright side.  More tea for us.”

“I suppose so.  A toast, then!”

“You betcha!”

“To Lady Liberty, and her most excellent Jasmine Tea!  May the People rejoice!”

“Now you’re talkin’!”

“O.K. Snake – your turn.”

“A toast!  To Lady Liberty!  Twenty-nine years old, give or take two hundred, and still hotter than smokin’ muskets!”

“Boys!  You make me blush!”

“Madame – I’m afraid we have a late arrival.”

“Wonderful!  Please show her in!”

“Oh my God!  Snake!  Can you believe it?  It’s Tina Fey!”

“And here you thought this party wasn’t gonna rock.”

“I take it all back!”

“You know – if you look at her just right, she really does look like that other chick….”

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