Dear Chinese Communist Government,
AmeriCorp™ would like to thank you for your recent comments about our new and improved product, Gun Control™. We are pleased to hear that it has worked so well for you, and that you have recommended it to your 4 friends.
In checking our records, it has come to our attention that you are currently using a model of Gun Control™ which was subject to a recall approximately 236 years ago. This model had several serious defects, which are now known to present significant dangers to the user. These hazards include arrogance, tyranny, and certain rare forms of whole-organ human cannibalism. While it is our hope that you have not experienced any of these defects, we strongly recommend that you discontinue use of any forms of Gun Control™ subject to recall, and take advantage of our free upgrade program.
Due to an expected inventory surplus of semiautomatic weapons formerly belonging to untrained and uncommitted users, we can now offer the latest model of Gun Control™ for the remarkable price of $0.00 with no money down. We will even ship Gun Control™ directly to your citizens, by parachute, at no charge. If, by chance, your citizens have had to deal with any of the aforementioned defects – particularly certain rare forms of whole-organ human cannibalism – they will find that the latest model of Gun Control™ corrects these defects within a period of days.
Again, we wish to thank you for your kind comments about Gun Control™. Remember our company motto, which we feel applies particularly to our flagship product, Government®.
Less Is More
Director of Sales and Service