CREED®. There are enough reasons to hate myself. I certainly didn’t need CREED® fanboyism to be one of them. But the fact is, if you love mainstream fragrances but want something novel, or you dig really out-of-style fragrances but don’t like to search for flakey, decayed vintage, then you are likely to become a victim of CREED® marketing. You can fight it, but sooner or later, CREED® will wear you down, and you will become a CREED®-bot.
Whatever. Assuming that you do like CREED®, then eventually, you’re going to buy one of their stick deodorants. I assure you that the scents of the deodorants are excellent, and as good as the fragrances, if not slightly better, due to their slightly different and thereby more unfamiliar formulations.
But just like everything else, a CREED® deodorant stick can break. What can you do? Well, what you’re SUPPOSED to do is take it back to your authorized CREED® dealer, complain, get a replacement, and go make some more money. That’s the civilized thing to do.
Let’s say that you’re a cheap-ass redneck who already has too much money, because you’re not in a trailer like you should be. You look around at the world, and you say to yourself…
“What the hell. I may not be a hippie or a Greenpeace member, but resources are limited. Waste not, want not. Wasn’t that in the Bible or something? Hell – I can’t remember. I haven’t been to church in forever, ’cause the smart-ass theology guy from India on the truck radio is so damn good. Anyway, I sure as hell ain’t throwin’ out a CREED® deodorant just ’cause it don’t work. Maybe I can fix the sucker!”
And you can!
Now, I could include pictures, but that would be gauche. One does not repair a sacred CREED® deodorant stick by some sort of “how-to” manual, or some kind of bohemian list of steps on the internet. One “gets a tip from a fellow CREED® enthusiast or aficionado“. You can do this in the club, or at the golf course, or – as in this case – on a dedicated fragrance blog for colognoisseurs of CREED®. I will admit that the latter is less desirable than doing it over drinks in the club, but perhaps this is an emergency. And if you’re like me, losing the use of your CREED® deodorant stick IS an emergency.
First of all, the disclaimers. If your deodorant stick has lost function because the impeller screw has lost traction in the solid deodorant, by drilling out the solid stick, then my advice will not help you. There ARE ways to repair such a deodorant stick. Some of them involve microwave ovens, by which you can melt the fragrance and let it resolidify around the screw. There are numerous gauche descriptions of this sort on the internet. I have not, personally, tested any of them. Some warn that leakage can occur during the melting process. You and your microwave oven were warned.
My tip is different, and applies to a different cause of breakage, which is apparently more common with CREED® deodorant sticks.
When my CREED® deodorant stick broke, I observed that turning the bottom of the stick would not advance the deodorant. Seeking the cause, I shook out the solid deodorant stick itself from the plastic housing, by turning the apparatus upside down, and tapping lightly to advance the stick by gravity. Catching the solid stick in the cap, I observed the following. The impeller screw was still fixed into the bottom of the stick, and was still gripping firmly. Turning the screw moved it in and out quite firmly, as it normally would. Thus, the more routine cause of breakage – the drilling out of the solid deodorant – was not in evidence.
Seeking a further cause of the breakage, I noticed that the head of the impeller screw appeared to be damaged. The head of the screw is not round, like most screws. Instead, it is Y-shaped. Thus, the entire impeller looks like a plastic “Y”, with three identical 120-degree angles, and with a very long screw sticking out perpendicularly from the center.
Looking down into the now-empty cylinder of the plastic deodorant housing, I could see that there are fins on the bottom of the housing, and that upon rotation, these are supposed to catch the head of the impeller, and turn it by a ratcheting motion. Thus, the bottom of the CREED® housing acts like a socket wrench, and turns the impeller, which functions much like a hex-headed wood screw. But in this case, as the screw turns, and the deodorant solid is prevented from turning by tiny plastic ridges running along the length of the housing, the entire stick of deodorant is forced to advance or retreat along the axis of the impeller, which offers less friction than rotation. Very nice.
The problem – in a nutshell – was that the head of the screw was stripped. The three arms of the Y were bent and broken. The deodorant solid – too sticky to advance – had forced the plastic Y to exceed its design limits.
My fix – which worked the very first time I tried it – was to GLUE the head of the impeller screw to the bottom of the housing.
To accomplish this, I used Gorilla Glue®. Gorilla Glue® is useful for this task because it expands upon setting, and will thus rise up to fully ensnare the broken head of the impeller. Because this was a fine fragrance task, and not a typical bohemian usage of an adhesive, I chose the clear/white Gorilla Glue®, which matches the white housing common to all CREED® deodorant sticks. This is particularly important for psychological reasons.
Now – before using what amounts to a fairly large (1 teaspoon) amount of Gorilla Glue®, it is important to thoroughly WET the inside bottom of the CREED® deodorant stick housing with a little water. This is done in order to robustly initiate polymerization. The makers of Gorilla Glue® strongly recommend wetting one or both pieces of an object which is being mended with their product, in order to effect good adhesion. In this case, because we are actually using a large block of glue to join two objects which are not in good, direct contact, it is of paramount importance that we get efficient polymerization throughout the large quantity of adhesive. Likewise, it is important to wet BOTH surfaces – the bottom of the housing, AND the broken head of the impeller. A wet Q-tip is very useful for this task, but make sure that it is soaking wet, because both surfaces need to be thoroughly wet to give the best results.
But before wetting the surfaces, or immediately afterwards, it is useful to make a final adjustment of the impeller screw, so that the length of the screw, once the stick is placed back in the housing, will not advance the stick too far out of the housing, so that the cap can be put back in place as the glue dries, keeping your CREED® deodorant fresh, moist and fully fragrant. One can do this by either placing the stick back into the housing repeatedly, and adjusting the screw until the right length is achieved, or by estimating the same distance when the two objects are placed parallel to one another. Using both of these methods – an estimate by parallel placement first, followed by an actual test inside the housing – will provide extra assurance of the correct distance, and will arrive at that distance with a minimum number of adjustments.
One is now ready to add the glue. Hold the bottle directly above the deodorant housing, with the axis of the housing pointing up, and squeeze a large quantity of glue, falling directly down the central axis of the cylinder. It is best to fully cover the bottom of the housing to a depth of a few millimeters. Don’t worry – expansion during polymerization will raise this level to at least a centimeter. Avoid at all costs getting glue on the sides of the housing – this could lead to very troublesome complications.
Once the glue has been added, return the solid stick of deodorant into the housing, being extremely careful not to tip the unit from the vertical. Make sure that the deodorant solid settles all the way to the bottom, so that the head of the impeller screw makes contact with the bottom of the housing, and is immersed in (or at least touching) the liquid glue.
Now – without tipping the deodorant housing – screw the cap back on the CREED® deodorant stick. Be careful that it does NOT drive the bottom out of the housing, which is not difficult to do. If it does, then simply loosen the cap as needed and push the bottom back up – hard. While a slightly loose cap may lead to extremely minor leakage of your CREED® fragrance from the deodorant solid, it is not the end of the world by any means.
Finally – without tipping the deodorant housing – return it to the CREED® box which you so carefully saved as a true CREED® aficionado. Close the box, and return your CREED® deodorant stick to a dark drawer where it won’t be disturbed. In this case, a slightly warm drawer is actually good, to effect thorough polymerization. You may even wish to warm the bottom of the box slightly over a lamp, before you set it aside – just be careful not to warm it too much. We don’t want polymerization to take place too rapidly, as it might if you heated the mass to oven-like temperatures.
Let your CREED® deodorant stick sit undisturbed for several days, or possibly even a week. When you are done, you will have a working CREED® deodorant stick. If there is still excessive stickiness in the housing (which likely caused this whole problem), you may notice that the now-rigid impeller unit will actually push the BOTTOM of the housing out from the unit, rather than advancing the solid stick. This is not a problem – simply push the bottom back upwards, and the stick will advance without any turning of the screw. To avoid this problem in the future, simply hold the sides of the housing firmly, and push the bottom up hard as you turn it, to advance the deodorant solid.
If anyone should find this tip useful, I will be quite pleased. We may fight over this and argue over that, but when all is said and done, we just want to smell good. When you save your CREED® deodorant stick from taking that long ride to the landfill, you are actually saving another CREED® deodorant stick for somebody else. Somebody who will also appreciate the great fragrance of CREED® products.
The world not only needs a little more love – it needs a little more CREED®. And by repairing your deodorant stick, instead of sending it to the landfill, you helped.